Thanks you Internet for your support! I’m going to be deciding on my running-mate in the very near future. It’s a toss up between Luke Duke and Chewbacca. Let me know who you think I should choose.

Last weekend we hopped in the car and made the trek to Watkins Glen for some “kamping” with friends at the Watkins Glen KOA. First, let me say that K is the best letter of the alphabet, so the fact that everything at KOA starts with K (a not so-clever use of metaplasmus) makes it even better. In fact we stayed in Kamping Kottages which is about as luxurious as camping gets. I highly recommend them.

Of the many amenities right there in the KOA is a Jumping Pillow. Unfortunately I went on with little Anna first and 3 jumps into the fun she landed wrong on the pillow and twisted her knee. She was hobbled the rest of the weekend after that one, so we learned a lesson there. Anyway, Tricia, me and all of the kids on the trip had a grand old time getting high. Check it out:

Tricia goes airborne on the Jumping Pillow

Kris gets high on the Jumping Pillow

Crayfish are a Hit
There was a big gully behind our cabins with a creek running through it. The boys always wanted to go down into the creek to find crayfish. So, after spending lots of time getting muddy and collecting some of the mini-lobsters, Marc got the bright idea to throw them into the fishing pond as bait. Lo and behold that was the ticket. So the secret is now out. KOA fishing pond + crayfish = big bass.

Lucas Krolczyk puckering up to one of the big bass he and his dad, Marc caught

Not to be outdone, Anna and I hit the pond hard with the Barbie pole and some fresh night crawlers. We both practiced lots of patience and came up with a few nice sunfish for our efforts.

Anna and Daddy wait patiently for a fish to bite.

Lots of Exercise
Tricia wrote about how much exercise she got on the trip, so we weren’t just lazing around, for sure. We had a wonderful time with all of our friends this weekend. Thanks for the memories!

The Kamping Krew.
Back Row (From Left):Lucas Krolczyk, Kris Rzepkowski, Mason Rzepkowski, Anna Rzepkowski, Mike Gregoire, Bonnie Gregoire
Front Row (From Left):Janet Krolczyk, Mia Krolczyk, Tricia Rzepkowski, Marc Krolczyk, Oscar Gregoire

There were a few other new things I learned in the Bahamas beside what I’ve covered in parts 1 and 2. I’ll start with the ultimate undersea experience.

6. Seriously Could U Bring enough Air (SCUBA)
Dad decided he would surprise Mike and me with early birthday presents. Available at the resort was a PADI Discover Scuba Diving program. This was an intro course where we watched a video and took some pool instruction before going on a real dive with an instructor. The first day we got the video program out of the way which, for me was like watching an in-flight airline safety video. I figure when I really need the information they’ll probably remind me how to put the mask around my head in the event of cabin depressurization, so let’s not sweat all of the details. We then went to get our gear and head to the pool.

Scuba involves a few things that are strange to the uninitiated. Perhaps the most perplexing to me were the BC (Boyancy Compensator) and the Regulator. The BC is a vest that holds the air tank to your back and inflates/deflates to ascend and descend in the water. The regulator is the set of tubes hooked to the tank that you breathe from, the back-up breather, and the air gauge that tells you how much air is left. Of course you must also fiddle with fins, a mask, a wet suit, a weight belt, and the all-important air tank to complete the ensemble. We got instructed on how to put it all together and then we hopped into the pool.

Kris, Mike and Dick get schooled on their Scuba gear

Once in the pool we had to learn all of the worst case scenarios first. What happens if your mask fills with water. How do you signal that you are out of air? What if your regulator falls out? How do you prevent your ears and lungs from imploding? You know…the truly enjoyable parts of Scuba that make you hop up and say “Hooray, I’m so glad that man figured out how to fake being a fish without evolving some gills.” We learned a few hand signals and it was time for my first taste of underwater breathing. What a rush!

We got going at 11:30am on day two by getting all of our gear and heading out to the excursion boat that would take us to the ocean reef. Our instructor told us we would be down for about 45 minutes. The air was cold that day with a 20 MPH wind whipping and some pretty good waves, but the water was warm. I was worried about remembering all that we had learned the day before and getting cold before our dive was over. Mike, on the other hand had his marriage to worry about. The cold weather made his fingers shrink and his wedding band loosened up. Rather than leave some booty at the the bottom of the ocean he decided to clip it to the boat. The good news was that if he encountered a mermaid she wouldn’t be scared away by the symbol of matrimony. hmmmm….

Mike’s wedding ring stayed aboard the boat

Despite our jitters we managed a smile in anticipation of warm water and a great reef view.

Kris and Dad ready to dive

The next thing we learned was how to jump off of the boat and into the water. Once we had all taken the plunge it was time to head down. As each of us went down, we equalized our ears. Mike had a little trouble getting equalized, and Dad seemed to be floating off to China after letting go of the rope. I felt pretty good as I went down, but all I wanted to do was stick close by the instructor. When we finally got comfortable, one of the instructors snapped this shot of us.

Kris, Dad and Mike make their first ocean Scuba dive

The dive itself was spectacular. It didn’t take long for us to feel at ease in 10-15 feet of water. The reef was breath taking with all sorts of plant and marine life. I took a few shots with the disposable underwater camera, but it can’t do the experience justice.

45 minutes went by in a heartbeat. When we got back on the boat we were all tired and happy. A few days later Dad and I were each battling a water-plugged ear which was a small price to pay for a great new experience.

7. Workouts in boat shoes are not advisable
Let’s get this out of the way first. Tricia did not pack my sneakers. There I said it. Therefore it is undeniable truth that it was her fault I had no suitable athletic footwear on vacation. So, after I let it be known how annoyed I was that I had no sneakers to work out in, I decided that I would pick from my remaining footwear to hit the gym. We were on vacation so technically I didn’t need to work out. However, my body was protesting my buffet addiction and was aching to burn off just a bit of it.

The choice I made was this lovely pair of loafers.

Even worse was the only socks I packed that would go above my ankle and protect my foot were black. I’m positive that I got dirty looks when I entered the gym because I looked like this guy I met on vacation a few years ago.

Kris with hid future self Legoland 2004

So I ran my usual 3 miles in the loafers and black socks on 3 separate occasions. I developed a large blister and a well deserved complex about what a Tool I looked like.

8. It does rain in the Bahamas
Here was the view from our airplane as we approached Freeport on March 22.

In the month of March Freeport is supposed to get a total of 1.57″ of rain. We had that much rain in the first 4 hours of our stay. By the time Monday night rolled around we at least doubled that rainfall estimate. The best part was that it beat the 25 degrees and snow we had left behind in Rochester. The rain really didn’t damper our fun, and by Friday we had enjoyed 3 perfect Caribbean days of sun and beach fun.

9. Non-umbrella drinks are not welcome here
It is common knowledge that you don’t go to the islands to drink dirty martinis. For me, the new experience was the volume of variants to be had. Here’s some of what I sampled:

• Sex on the Beach
• Rum Runner
• Bahama Mama
• Poison Ivy
• Green Monster
• Pina Colada
• Strawberry Daiquiri
• and my personal favorite…Dirty Water

Even more fun was ordering all of the above “Virgin” for the kids. One of the highlights of the trip they recite to every adult who asks is “We had lots of cool drinks like Sex on the Beach”. D’Oh! Why can’t they remember ‘Bahama Mama’?

10. I figured out how to use my Canon camera’s stitch function.
It works reasonably well. The photo below was composited from 8 stitch pics on the beach in front of the hotel. I had to do some blending between the photos to make one continuous scene, but it is still pretty cool. Click and Enjoy.

There you have it. A synopsis of our Bahamas Family vacation through the lens of 10 new things that I learned. Thanks again to my parents for inviting us on the trip and to Lindsey, Mike and Lily for some great memories. I can’t wait til we come up with our next vacation. The tour guide within me is ready for another round.

Yesterday I posted Part 1 of the 10 New Things I Learned On Our Family Bahamas Vacation where I talked about Trapezery and Biking X 2. So let’s continue the fun with what I learned about my kids.

3. Our Kids Love to Be on Stage (at least in theory)
I didn’t know what to expect heading into an all-inclusive resort with a Kids’ Club. I thought that I would feel guilty for even thinking of leaving them off with some stranger while we went to the beach. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The first day we took the kids to the Club they met Denise, the most fun 20-something from Mexico that anyone could meet. The kids immediately fell in love with her, and BEGGED to go to the Kids’ Club every day; especially the rainy ones. There was always something to do, and they met lots of other kids their age to hang out with. Every night before the live entertainment there was a mini disco where Mason and Anna got up on stage with Denise to dance silly songs. We thought it was great for Anna who has developed a little stage fright in anticipation of her dance recital later this year.

We had also reviewed the entertainment schedule at the beginning of the week to see what shows to attend. At the top of Mason and Anna’s list were Pirates of the Caribbean and Lion King. So, imagine our surprise when Mason came out of Kid’s Club one day saying that he was going to be Baby Simba. We thought for sure he was imagining a little too vividly. Sure enough by the day of the show, Mason had befriended Gustavo, the resident choreographer and had also volunteered Anna for a part too. This made Anna very excited as she had been jealous the previous days for all of Mason’s squawking about being the star of the show.

Needless to say we were thrilled for our kids to get this unexpected opportunity which made the trip for them. After a week now we are still creating mini-performances of the show in our basement, and the kids are glued to the Lion King DVD. Enjoy the show! Make sure you watch the last minute. They just crack me up.

Mason and Anna perform in the Lion King at Viva Wyndham Fortuna Beach March 25, 2008

4. Teenage Girls are Born at 4 Years Old
Anyone who has parented a fiery little girl out there I’m sure already knows this to be true. I really don’t need to give this much more of an intro, other than to stop laughing long enough to click the play button again.

5. Snorkel First in the Pool
Hee Hee. I got a good Daddy lesson after I heard for so many days that Mason wanted to snorkel. Tricia went to Target before the trip and got each of the little ones a snorkel, mask and flippers. Mason couldn’t contain himself any longer when the sun finally came out. He had to snorkel. I’m not sure what came over me, as I thought that the swimming lessons at the Y had properly prepared the boy for deep sea snorkeling.

So, we had fun putting on all the equipment. Sticking a snorkel in his little mouth was a very unfamiliar experience for him. He learned to walk backward with the flippers and how to spit in his mask to keep it from fogging up (he loved that of course). Then I took him out into the shallow water and had him lay on my hands. Immediately he took a big gulp of saltwater that leaked into his snorkel and came up coughing. That was the end of that lesson, and I thought, snorkeling for the rest of his life. This picture gives a glimpse of the brief ocean adventure.

Mason’s First Ocean Snorkel Experience

Afterward I got to thinking. There’s a 1.5′ deep kiddie pool with no salt water and a shallow bottom, why not go over there and learn? So I convinced Mason to give it a whirl one more time. I made sure that the snorkel was actually sealed to his mouth. and that the mask was tight enough not to leak around his face. Then I gave him the Ultimate Challenge. I threw a bottle opener on the bottom across the pool. I told him to go find the bottle opener. Sure enough, that got him to put his face in the watter and use his snorkel to breathe. The rest of the trip he couldn’t wait to keep playing snorkel in the kiddie pool. Maybe next time around we’ll try the ocean again.

I’m still headed toward 10 new things. In my next post I’ll tell you about my experience breathing underwater for the first time too. My dad and Mike and I learned to SCUBA. Plus other oddities that only happen on Rzepkowski vacations. In the meantime keep looking at the Bahamas pictures.

I spent last week with my wife and kids, my parents, and my sister’s family in the Bahamas. We stayed at the Viva Wyndham Fortuna Beach near Freeport on Grand Bahama Island. The trip had been in the works for over a year, with Mom and Dad choosing this all-inclusive resort for some good family R&R.

It took me over a day to unplug my brain from work, eased by all the food and drink I could handle. Once I vegged out just a bit it was time for activities. When my brain is free to explore other interests I learn lots of new things. So, here are 10 new things I learned while in the Bahamas

1. Trapeze Tricks
Yep. The flying circus act. Who knows why a resort decides to install a trapeze as an amenity? Perhaps it ranks right after the cucumber facial exfoliation wrinkle reducing treatments and before heated toilet paper. Whatever the case may be, we had a 30′ high apparatus not far from the back porch of our first-floor beach front rooms. We were fixated on watching the pros do it, and joked with Anna that she should try it. We checked the schedule which included kid sessions in the morning and adult sessions in the afternoon. Mike, inexplicably volunteered to take the challenge. I was perfectly happy to chicken out, but I’m just too competitive. So, after he came out alive I decided to do it. Dad is even more competitive than me, so he took to the sky to prevent any ‘skirt’ jokes. Even Mason gave it a try late in the week, because all of his camp buddies got into it.

This was one of those experiences that I was happy to have done once, and just as happy to never do again.

The ladies were glued all week to the high-flying theatrics. Ultimately, they could not let the other smiling guests have all the fun. So Tricia, Mom, Lindsey, and even little Anna built up enough courage to give it a shot. Tricia lived out her tom-boy, tree climbing, monkey swinging childhood. Mom conquered the very same event that her sister as an adult had promised to do at Circus World, but chickened out. Yeah Mom! You beat Aunt Darrell on that one Lindsey’s experience was similar to mine. We were never ones to do the monkey bars, no less swing upside down. Hers was a conquest probably not to be repeated. And Anna…well, she finally got to do what she was begging to do.

2. How to Ride a Tandem Bike
On Thursday, only our second fully sunny day of the trip, Dad came up with the idea to leave the resort property and bike to Port Lucaya where there was some souvenir shopping. When we went to the security desk to check out the bikes I joked with Tricia that we should take out the only tandem bike on the rack. I really wasn’t serious. She spoke right up though and said, “That sounds good”. So, she climbed on the back and we started off toward Port Lucaya with my Dad.

The bike took a lot of getting used to. The two sets of pedals are chained together, and of course her handle bars did no steering at all. When I wanted to slow down she kept pedaling. When she wanted to see something ahead, all she could see was the red t-shirt on my back. After a while though we developed a system. I said “Coast” every time I wanted her feet off the pedals and this let the bike glide. If we were stopped and needed to get started easily, she acted as the “rear engine” getting us underway. The teamwork made the whole experience really fun, and actually far less effort for both of us (just ask my dad). If we ever get a chance to tandem ride again, I’m sure we will.

Kris and Tricia on a double bike in Port Lucaya

I promise, there really are 8 other new things I learned. I’ll talk about them in my next post. In the meantime enjoy my pictures of the trip, or check out Tricia’s vacation recap.

One night last week the kids were getting in our hair, and I just couldn’t take one more “I’m bored”. For some unknown reason I thought it would be good to do something I haven’t done for MANY years – a jigsaw puzzle. Yep, I have reached the height of excitement. I was either channeling my inner old folks home, or grasping for any way to make this winter go away faster.

We had this 750 piece Chicago Skyline puzzle from Buffalo Games gathering dust on the shelf. My grandma gave it to me at least 5 years ago. The minute I cracked it open, we had instant family entertainment. Mason and Anna have never seen such a large and complex puzzle, and of course Tricia and I were eager to dig in. We spread out all of the pieces and flipped them over. We did an initial sort, looking for all of the edges. By the end of the first night we had the edges somewhat constructed, and Tricia completed all of the lettering at the bottom.

Over the next 10 days the puzzle quickly lost its luster for the rest of the family, but not for me. I was hooked. I attacked this thing every morning before breakfast, and during lunch, and instead of watching TV at night. The whole experience was so much more stimulating and calming than I ever remember it. I’m convinced that the old school jigsaw puzzle is every bit as useful to the brain as BrainAge could ever try to be. As I built the puzzle I kept building different strategies for organizing and completing the different sections.

Tonight, at 1am when I can’t sleep on the eve of our family vacation, I completed the beast. When it was done, I could only wonder if there were puzzling strategies out there from world champs of puzzling or something. Without knowing it, I had in fact followed the strategies that puzzle junkies who do this all the time devised. Building a puzzle has some intrinsic satisfaction for the builder in me. It was as much fun as a home improvement project or building a website.

To top this off, let’s visit our friend YouTube for some jigsaw inspiration.

This weekend was not a weekend for the weak belly. After Tricia entertained the kids all week for their February break, we started our gall bladders on the right foot on Friday by packing in some fishfry over at the Ukrainian Home of Rochester. It is almost directly behind our house, and having driven by the Fish Fry Fridays sign many times, I wanted to get a peek inside. When we walked in and saw the mighty Haddock filets being carted to a dining room alive with accordion music, I knew we needed to stay.

Accordion player at Ukrainian Home of Rochester

Unfortunately for us, everyone else had the same idea. We put our name in at 6pm and weren’t eating until 7:30pm. While we waited I did get a chance to sample Ukrainian beer, Obolon Premium. Trust me, this beer tastes the opposite of premium. Luckily you don’t pay a lot for beer at your local ‘home’.
Tricia and Mom A put on a smiley face but under those toothy grins were some choice words for those of us there for the atmosphere.

Tricia and Mom A enjoying the 1.5 hour wait for their fish

I blame it on this guy I found there.

Is the glass half full?

The crispy breaded WHALE that they put on my plate ended up being very good. I also got to sample deep fried pierogies for the first time. All of this food seemed to be tied around my feet when I played volleyball at Hot Shots later that night.

Saturday night, Tricia cooked a deep fried turkey. This tasted awesome and yet again left my belly seeking rice cakes. Instead of listening to the beckon call of Pepto, I instead suggested that we drive to Buffalo on Sunday to see Matt and Alison, my bother and sister-in-law. Of course, when in Buffalo eat like a Buffalo – wings that is. We ended up at the Buffalo Sports Garden which is right around the corner from Matt and Ali’s apartment. The wings there are terrific as evidenced by this grainy blackberry photo.

Kris eating the Buffalo Delicacy

My stomach will definitely thank me for the return of the work week, where I’ll return to my treadmill and my fiber cereal induced equilibrium.

All the good stuff from my childhood is making a return. I’m psyched to see what Indiana Jones will be up to in the newest movie coming out this Spring.

On top of that, we’ve got Kitt making a return to TV this Sunday, albeit as a Ford Mustang which just screams paid product placement. These are good times for the 25-34 year old male demographic, coming on the heels of the Transformers and Dukes of Hazzard revivals.

Saturday, I got Mason and Anna out of the house to blow the stink off and give Tricia a breather. There was barely enough snow on the ground, but even an icy hillside will do the trick when you are desperate. We had a great time doing sled trains. My self-capture skills could improve a bit, but I really needed a 3rd arm or something to get us in better view. Here’s the highlights:

That must have been an aberration, as today it was 60 degrees in Rochester. All the snow is gone. It feels like Springtime. I hope this doesn’t mean snow on my birthday.

Here is the long lost footage of our audition on Dancing With the Stars. My professional dance partner, Tricia Rzepkowski chose an upbeat ensemble from the 1970’s that shows reverence for the decade of our birth.